MUMS. Work or stay at home?
Hello, this is my first after the first blog so I am still new at it. I think I want to blog about an issue I’ve been thinking about for a while now. Working mothers! Should mothers stay at home with kids or should they work outside the home? Yeah! I know this is not an easy question. I know because I am asking that question right now.
I am a young mother of 2 lovely daughters. I can tell you that they are one of the best things that has happened to me. I love them so much and naturally want the best for them so, I want to stay home and give them the best I can. I am also a graduate you know, and will love to explore the job market with my training or even try something new in the corporate world. Now I am torn between two worlds.
The argument for staying home is quite strong and I personally agree with them. What with the way the society is turning out rebels, touts and such: whose fundamental problems can not be unrelated to lack of solid role models. In Africa, we say “Charity begins at home”. But what happens when there is no one at home to lead ‘the charity lane’? The formative years of kids are very important and one cannot underestimate the impact of those years on children. I still vividly remember stuff from when I was little.
I want to instill in my daughters virtues they will remember for life. I want to be their first model. I want them to know they are important and loved very much and unconditionally. I want … so much for them; all I had and never had. All the things I have in mind are so time consuming and interactive that one would think you need more than 24hrs with them to achieve! When I think about this, I feel being a stay-at-home mum is the best for kids. But then, how practical is it?
In such a country as ours where to live comfortably (I’m not talking about getting rich) is highly economically demanding, you want all hands on deck to bring in enough money for the family. There are families where there is no other choice than for the mother to go out and work for them to survive. One now wonders how practical it really is for mums to stay at home.
Not only that, how about the psychological and emotional effects of staying at home? There is that feeling of being left behind by your working mates and juniors that is not so heavenly. When you stay around under 3 kids long enough, a time comes you’ll wonder if you can still carry on adult conversation (Pls. don’t laugh as I happen to have asked myself that question). Let’s not mention the never-ending housework. The list can go on and on, but I’ll stop here for now to here from you all what you think about this matter. I believe there should be an agreeable compromise we can reach. I’ll love to read your view, in fact, I look forward to it. Thank you.
Labels: mums, stay at home mums, working mums
posted by Fadekemi @ 3:19 PM
6 Comments
6 Comments:
Hello sis,
This is nice, really.
I will like to share my opinion from the point of view of ones ambition. Ambition takes a very wide range, from being the best stay-home mother to being the best professional. There are women who despite their academic/professional trainings have made up their minds that at least during child-rearing periods of their lives, they would rather stay home. That may be their own ambition. There are some others who can not just stomach the thought of staying at home while the world and their career move on. They want to get to the peak of their career, not necessarily for the cash but for self fulfillment and actualization.
In both scenarios, satisfaction can only come when the ambition is pursued and achieved, no matter what friends are doing or saying. Once the mind is made up at times, you would not get bothered by what the current trend is. But then, another important thing is to be creative with whichever you choose. You can be a stay-home mother and still be informed, with conscious efforts though. And its possible to be an 'uninformed passive professional' at the same time. So I personally feel stay-home mothers should not feel inferior to career mums, as long as its their ambition and they can be creative with it. But what about the situation of being 'forced' to stay home or go to work, that is, when its not a peronal choice? That is another case entirely, but whichever the situation, one can still make the best out of it if one chooses.
I hope you find this helpful.
Cheers!
Omodele.
I'll like to wonder what will happen to our economy/ the worlds economy if every mother stayed home 24/7. The economic indications not only of daycares, pre school and play centres closing, and nannies being out of work, but ofcourse reduced tax for government to work with, reduction in the workforce and the multiplier effect of that.
Thats an extreme situation, but I would like to add it to your thoughts.
I think u should first of all be clear of what exactly u hope to achieve in life as par motherhood, carreer, being a wife and all. Then set priorities. personally, i think u can have it all as a woman. who said u had to choose!!?!
if u do eventually decide to become a stay @ home mum, also consider improving urself while u r at it. u may decide to get your Masters and PhD degrees during the baby making/ child rearing years (u can get degrees online these days...)especially whilst your kids r at kindergarten/ pry school. u can learn a new trade, start a business which u can run from home, get a part time job which is not as demanding, it does not have to be a high paying job, i know it can not be easy asking for money from your hubby.
Basically, try and invest in yourself; these may come in handy when the kids have gone off to boarding house. U dont necessarily have to stay put at home 24/7, but u may have to make yourself available to your family once everybody is home.
Having worked in a bank for 7 years, i most definitely am sure that some jobs are detrimental to your home/ family life.
Food for thought: We weren't created for our own purpose but for God's. Focussing on God's purpose in our lives will most definitely create a pathway of satisfaction and overwhelming blessings in whatever job/s we do
National or global economy isn't limited to financial capabilities only, it covers a wider perspective which one must not loose sight of. As a combi-mum(work n housewife) i have grown to respect and value mums and dads who are only committed to working at home with/for their family. It isn't by any means an easy task neither is it of less importance when compared to other professional or sub-professional job. Working from home parents to me are multiskilled as well as talented in combining various roles such as taking kids to school,lesson teacher at home,house cleaning/laundery, cooking,shopping etc. Over the years, i believe dedicated home parents (without realising it) gradually build up their organisational,coping,appropriate handling of criticism, creative,time management as well as leadership skills and this may explain why many perform brilliantly in society defined skilled/semi-skilled jobs should they choose to go back. I believe all hardworking full time home-parents should be adequately compensated financially and morally as this is one of the most challenging jobs ever. The most important thing in life is finding God's niche for us and fulfilling our different roles according to His will, be it in a home working environment or vice versa.Also kudoz to all parents combining the 2.....may God's strength be renewed every sec in these lives
Hi all!
Last night I almost resigned. Why? Because I had been getting home so late and leaving home so early in the name of work. Every morning I feel like a bad mother because I leave my baby to be cared for by others.
I think you have to choose what you want. But you MUST bear in mind that there is no success without sacrifice. You want to be a stay @ home Mum? Fantastic! Then no career, no financial independence, reduced family income. You want to be at the top of your career? Super! Someone else enjoys your child, gets to see him/her do all his firsts and he runs to someone else, when he needs comfort. It’s a win win, lose lose situation. Only the woman (and her baby daddy) can decide.
But what I want to say to every mummy out there is this – whatever choice you make is YOURS to make. Do NOT let anyone make you feel GUILTY because you stay at home, or because you work. It isn’t their life nor their choice to make.
IYANIWURA!
We mummies rock!!!!
but sincerely...what would you do?
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